"Done" in Advent?
“Are you done with your Christmas shopping?” the pleasant young woman asked me as she rinsed the color from my hair. I’m glad my eyes were closed because they probably rolled back in my head underneath my lids. She meant well and was simply making conversation. I forced myself to calmly say, “No. I’m just getting started.” That was Thursday, December 11th, a full two weeks before Christmas.
It’s Advent. The season of waiting, of incompletion, of “I don’t know yet and I’m not finished.” In Advent we lean into uncertainty and darkness and incubation. We are not supposed to be ‘done’ in Advent.
My last seminary assignment was due on Dec. 10th at midnight PST. I promised myself I would not worry about Christmas or start on the myriad of tasks involved until after my research paper was complete. I broke the promise not by shopping or decorating, but worrying…yeah…that happened…sometimes at 3 and 4 a.m.
Almost every time I’ve walked out the door this week, it seems my surroundings are screaming:
“Hurry and get your wreaths up. The rest of the neighbors have theirs out.”
“You better get those gifts ordered or you’ll pay premium shipping rates.”
“Get the shopping done. The stores will be crowded; traffic, terrible.”
“The best deals will be gone.”
All of that is the voice of scarcity shouting at me that there isn’t enough time, money, or resources. Not one of those statements sounds anything like, “Be still and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10) or “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) . The voice of the Spirit is not a voice of scarcity.
In my thirties I can remember trying to get all the Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving. What ended up happening was I just found more decorating, baking, party-hosting or Christmas card writing to fill up every second until Christmas. I wasn’t less stressed by starting earlier, rather I added more things to the to-do list. If I was the early bird getting the worm, then the worm was eating my fruit.
I know that two weeks is plenty of time to buy and wrap presents and decorate a tree. I also know that Christmas comes every year and so the striving for perfection I once sought in gift-giving or decorating or hosting is illusory and unnecessary. If the staircase doesn’t get lined with greenery and bows or I can’t find the ‘perfect’ gift for someone…well, there’s always next year. Christmas is a practice not a performance.
I secretly have come to love Advent. I need the waiting and the unknowns and the leaning in and looking. I need to acknowledge the longing and hunger and thirst. I need to live in the unfinished. Advent gives me a ground from which to resist my temptation toward performance and productivity. I am supposed to be waiting. Things should be incomplete. Advent is the space of “not yet.” It is preparation and preparing for anything is usually messy. I am not supposed to be finished in Advent. “Done” comes on Christmas Day.
Completion. Wholeness. Incarnation. Holiness.
It will be here Christmas Day.
